Al Capone

by dm gillis

waddaya wanna know ‘bout Al Capone
he was a fucking lunatic
displaying manifestations of earlier life events
which is kinda poetic
like this flower by some other name would still smell like a goddam flower

so anyways
he’s out with the boys one night in a Chi-Town bar
and there’s gonna be trouble, you bet
he was just waitin’ for someone to flip his switch
when all of a sudden
this angel floats down from outta the ceiling
white robe wings and a golden harp, the works
she takes a stool at the bar and orders a Manhattan
then she has another and another and
she’s getting pixelated
then she sees Al and the boys at their table and says
hey Capone you scarface sonofabitch
my boss says you’re a pussy

and that does it
Al Capone’s up on his feet
he draws his .45 and blasts that bar-fly holy roller
right about where her heart should’ve been
but the bullet goes right through her like she ain’t there
and takes out a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey

now the angel’s grinnin’ like a Brooklyn undertaker
Capone looks at his gun
sees the smoke comin’ outta the barrel and says, what the hell?
the catechism didn’t say nothin’ ‘bout no angels mouthin’ off in a Chi-Town speakeasy
Gabriel weren’t no boozer

so this is the angel sent to me by God!
Capone says all tragic
like it’s some Rossini opera

then the angel sorta flapped her wings and rose back through the ceiling
and as she does
she tells the bartender that Al Capone’ll pay her tab
just like a Coney Island floozy
just like a goddam miracle of absolute flooziness
I’m tellinya

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