horoscope of the apocalypse — the haiku edition

by dm gillis

For Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius),
take a self-care day
bedbugs are in your future
microwave your socks

For Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn),
ideas flood your head
psychiatrist prescribes meds
you sell them on street

For Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius),
you think you’re so smart
with your fancy little car
city has you towed

For Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces),
more problems at home
avoid eye contact with them
put sand in their food