on turning 54

by dm gillis

perhaps I’ll find an unfound synonym for the past

a word the Mayans never chiseled into stone
or placed in a pyramid they abandoned
a word you have to take a number to see
a word without syllables that
cannot be calligraphised or
rest on the tip of your tongue

one you will say is not the word you’ve been looking for

a name for those who have arrived without forgetting
their ear against a flimsy wall
that keeps their occult absolute
and their secrets from spilling onto the floor