dying alone

by dm gillis

I don’t want to die alone
I wanna be on TV
and have the June Taylor Dancers
kicking like sequinned savage amazons
I wanna be on the Jackie Gleason Show
in pastel pink Miami Beach, Florida
and have the love I’ve cultivated
to this end
grieve by pulling out her hair
and forever wearing black —
cursing Buddha for His glibness
and passive stupor
I want there to be a cruise ship buffet
and the apostles queuing
networking and debating
the Assumption of the Virgin Mary

I figure I deserve this
life has been hard
and I’ve left far too many umbrellas
in department store cafeterias